“So’s Your Face!”
That’s a shout out to the 20 year old across the pond. Yes, it’s an inside joke. It’s so inside I have no clue about the context but I say it loud in a nyah nyah kind of way so as to look hep and wi-it. Oh yes I di-id. I went there.
Life is just as disorderly and unmanageable as always. One day life is going to say, “G’head, do it, run with it, your way. Go.” I’ll be the boss of life and nothing will happen unless I say so. Nothing. But life has it’s own agenda of a secret kind and we’re in it for the ride. The carrying a big, heavy box while your pants slowly start to slide down kind of ride. Embarrassing and unpredictable.
I’ve been drama-free for a year. (No, the 20 year old I’m not talking about you). I get it. Every week real life slaps me upside the head and says, ‘This. THIS is real life. It’s painful, it’s a struggle, deal with it.’ And I am. With joy, tenacity, idealistic thinking and dedication. I’ve worked at the Food Bank for one year. A year of attitude adjustments, becoming grounded, selfless and practicing the mantra “BE THE CHANGE”. Nothing minimizes petty thoughts and actions quicker than being exposed to critical, life-changing situations. Every week I’m reminded it’s a blessing knowing this.
I embark on a brand new contract in two sleeps. I’m the new producer of an existing TV lifestyle show, the new kid as everyone has already worked together for several seasons . But I’m so excited I can’t stand myself! I love the six month euphoria -I’ve already warned people not to burst my six month bubble yet. Many colleagues are on a forced hiatus due to the economy and there are no guarantees work will continue even in the TV industry. So 26 episodes = almost a full year of employment. Yes I’m relieved and thrilled. It’s also weekdays so I can still boss people around at the food bank (at least that’s what the husband thinks I do).
The 20 year old is in nglnd where vowels have been banned. She gets to find herself while romping in the countryside with a big black Labradoodle and two adorable children. I envy her the time to think thoughts and just be in a place in time unfettered. Fettering will hit her hard eventually but for now her worst fears are all part of imagining. Remember 20? I was so convinced I would be dead before my 20th birthday. Surviving it was shocking, frightening, too much world out there for me to comprehend and what’s this thing about the world not revolving around me? I would try to control everything, knowing I wasn’t in control of anything. She has faith, a relationship she can work on and grow. It’s quite beautiful.
In the meantime I attended a couples dinner with the husband. It was funny for all the wrong reasons and there was a lot of earnest surveys, questionnaires, etc about your spouse. We had to answer a question like, “what about your partner’s personality do you admire?” I truthfully answered, “The husband’s ability to fall asleep anywhere, anytime.” I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the response they were hoping for but it was a perfect answer to me. We laughed a lot and when the guest speaker made a comment about how women should serve their husbands my the husband yelled out “Amen!” I quickly followed by me with “he’s single!”
We cracked each other up which I guess is one of the reasons we’re still a couple. He then went through the list of adjectives to describe your partner and came up with ‘loyal’. Grrrr. I called him ‘creative’ which could also mean ‘nuts’. Touche.
So I guess we’ll continue to be a couple albeit a sarcastic couple but a couple. The 20 year old will grow in her faith and enjoy the life ride she’s on while I get back on the good old on-location roller coaster ride.
L’chaim!
